Hey, Whatever Happened To…(Movie Edition)

You know who I’m talking about.  You see a movie, you notice a certain actor, you see they do a couple more movies, and then suddenly…they disappear.  Never to be heard from again.  Or at least not in the public eye meaning.  I’m sure most of these people haven’t literally disappeared, and instead now lead normal, non-Hollywood lives.  Or perhaps some have stayed in Hollywood, but instead of partying and getting in trouble and hopping from spouse to spouse, they lead a more quiet life of unsuccessful independent movies.

I’ve decided to do some detective work on some of the most mysterious disappearances of the last two decades.  Some of you more in the know than me might think, “Well, duh…I knew that”, or “who the hell is this lady talking about?”  In either case, we both have learned something.

Julia Stiles

Then: After starring in 1999’s 10 Things I Hate About You, Julia Stiles became a teen star overnight.  She went on to such classics as Save the Last Dance and The Prince & Me, and then confused the hell out of everyone by playing a character in The Bourne Identity that no one understood.  She was in the other two Bourne movies and then – and this will be a recurring theme – chose to graduate from Columbia University and do some independent movies.

Now: Since I’m one of the two people in the world who doesn’t watch the show Dexter, I had no idea she joined the show in 2010 and was nominated for an Emmy and Golden Globe for that role.  So I guess that means people have forgotten that she was even in the Bourne trilogy and have accepted her as a real actor.  Good for her.

Noah Hathaway

Then: All right, let’s get one thing straight here.  He will never be known by his real name “Noah Hathaway”.  His name is Atreyu, people, and I’m guessing more than five girls from the 1980s had a crush on him.  I mean, the guy rides a huge shaggy dog named Falkor, and he’s practically shirtless the entire movie.  And he would do anything for the Childlike Empress.  So, yeah…he was pretty hot.

Now: I bet you didn’t know that Atreyu is a trained jazz and street dancer, competed as a Muay Thai boxer, learned American Kenpo, and also earned black belts in Tang Soo Do and Shotokan Karate!  He’s also been spending a lot of his time motorcycle racing and opened his own motorcycle-customization in SoCal.  And this year he’s on tour with WizardWorld Conventions and will be appearing at the Chicago and Philadelphia shows.  Which means the dude probably needs some money.

Edward Furlong

Then: I fell in love with Eddie when he appeared in the movie Terminator 2 back in 1991.  He was super cute and had an awesome “sk8er boi” haircut.  I watched that freaking movie every single night when I was 13, only because I totally thought I was going to marry him.  I counted down the days until his second movie Pet Sematary Two came out in August 1992, but after that my love – and his career – slowly began to die out.  He did a handful of small indies, and then hit rock bottom when I saw him pass out in the booth right next to me at Jerry’s Deli in Studio City ten years ago, thus starting his battle with alcoholism and illegal drug addiction.

Now: Unfortunately, life for Eddie has not gotten any better.  In January 2011, he was arrested and jailed for violating his probation stemming from the restraining order his estranged wife filed.  That evening he was still in jail needing to post a $75,000 bond for release, but was released the following morning.  He was then ordered to pay Bella over $15,000 in backdated child support in October 2011.  Sigh.

Minnie Driver

Then:  The world fell in love with Minnie when she played “that fat girl” in Circle of Friends opposite midget Chris O’Donnell.  Two years later she would be known as “Matt Damon’s girlfriend in that movie he wrote”, and then she didn’t really do anything as successful after that.  Probably because Matt Damon dumped her for Ben Affleck.

Now: Minnie appears to be having a successful career as a bit-part actor, appearing in smaller movies as well as television.  And this year she will be appearing alongside Vera Farmiga, David Duchovny, Will Arnett and Keri Russell in the comedy Goats, as well as in the 1970s-set drama Hunky Dory, directed by Marc Evans.  There’s unfortunately no juicy gossip to report, other than she gave birth to a baby boy in 2008 but has not revealed the identity of the father.  So basically, if the boy is short, the father is Chris O’Donnell.  If the baby looks like Matt Damon, the father is probably Ben Affleck.

Alicia Silverstone

Then: If you were a teen in 1995, then Alicia Silverstone needs no introduction.  After she played Cher in Clueless, millions of teenage girls wanted to BE her.  Including me.  She became super famous after that, but never did anything as good as Clueless again.  And most people have erased the travesty Batman & Robin out of their minds, so we won’t even talk about that.

Now: Besides the fact that Alicia has four movies coming out this year AND had a baby, she’s also very active in PETA and released a book called The Kind Life about living a vegan lifestyle.  Not too bad for a girl who once complained about eating two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and like 3 pieces of licorice.

Jeff Cohen

Then: Well, this blog would not be complete if I didn’t include someone from the cast of The Goonies.  And since Chunk seems to be everyone’s favorite, well, here he is.  Jeff Cohen had the best lines in The Goonies, making me laugh every time he opened his mouth.  If you ever hear anyone utter the words “truffle shuffle” or “Sloth”, you can thank Chunk.

Now: Shortly after The Goonies, Jeff decided to quit Hollywood, get his BA from UCLA, study law at UC-Berkeley, and become an entertainment lawyer.  Which makes me realize that’s probably the most successful one of the bunch.

That’s just a small handfull of the many people in hiding these days.  Who else is out there just waiting to come out again?  Who else is out there that never wants to be seen again?

Next week we’ll revisit the topic, this time talking about the TV actors who have disappeared from the face of the earth.  Like the scary robot chick from Small Wonder.

Happy viewing!