Posted in Watching Movies

Cruisin’ Through the Years

For the third week in a row, Mission: Impossible 4 is the number one movie at the box office, which proves to the world that people actually still like Tom Cruise.  They’re calling it the best Mission: Impossible movie yet, which doesn’t really mean much to me since I haven’t seen one since the second came out over ten years ago.  But it’s nice to see Tom Cruise back on top.  Lots of people might not remember this, but Tom Cruise used to be the biggest star in the universe.  Seriously…whatever he did was gold.  Of course this was before he went a little nuts and married Joey Potter and started Couch Gymnastics.  So to refresh people’s memories and to spread the knowledge to today’s youth, let’s take a look back at some of Mr. Cruise’s finest moments.

Top Gun

“That’s right, Ice…Man.  I am dangerous.”

In this scene Maverick (Tom Cruise) and Iceman (Val Kilmer) are standing in a locker arguing about Maverick’s recklessness, and Iceman flat-out tells Maverick that he doesn’t like him because he’s dangerous.  Suddenly the sexual tension in that locker room gets really thick, and as Maverick responds with a line that is forever quoted, we’re all just waiting for the two of them to rip those flight uniforms off and start making out.  The least Val Kilmer could do was really bite him.  Because that would have been pretty awesome.

Cocktail

“America, you’ve just been devoted to every flavor I got.  But if you want to got loaded, why don’t you just order a shot?”

I love every scene in Cocktail where Tom Cruise is actually bartending.  All the scenes where he’s making drinks and flipping bottles around and catching them behind his back, I think are the coolest scenes in what is probably Tom Cruise’s cheesiest movie to date.  And one of my favorite parts of those scenes is when he recites The Last Barman poem, suddenly securing his spot as King of the Bar.  It’s the point in the movie where he’s actually surpassed his mentor…where the young Padawan suddenly becomes the Master.  It also makes me realize that of all the bars I’ve been to, I’ve never been to one that cool.  And probably never will be.

Far and Away

“TELL ME YOU LIKE ME HAT!  YOU’RE NOT WEARING A HAT!”

It got horrible reviews, but Far and Away is still one of my favorite Tom Cruise movies.  It takes place in Ireland and the US around 1893, where a pair of Irish immigrants – Joseph (Cruise) and Shannon (Nicole Kidman) head to America in search of land.  Because in Oklahoma Terroitory, they’re giving it away for free!  Shannon is a stuck-up rich girl and Joseph is a poor man who starts making a living by participating in boxing matches at night.  While Shannon is slaving away at the chicken factory making about a penny a day (because she had to get a job to pay rent at the whorehouse where they were staying), Joseph is winning every boxing match and becoming quite successful.  So one day while Joseph is prancing around in one of his fancy new hats he just bought, Shannon gets fed up with him and they start fighting.  But Joseph fights back way better by demanding she tell him she likes his invisible hat, and when she doesn’t he body-slams her into the bathtub.

The Firm / Mission: Impossible / Vanilla Sky / Minority Report / The Last Samurai

RUUUUUUUUUN!

Have you ever noticed that Tom Cruise runs in, like, every movie he’s in?  I’m serious, he totally does.  I thought I was the only one who noticed this, at least until I came upon this Moviefone article.  I think directors must like how he looks while running on camera, because they will never miss an opportunity to film him running at full speed just as something super dramatic is about to happen.  It’s quite exciting.  I wonder if he’ll continue to run like that when he gets to be 80 years old.  I hope so.

Jerry Maguire

 “The f***ing zoo is closed, Ray.”

There are some Tom Cruise moments that are so brilliant that you wonder if anything will ever compare.  One of those moments takes place in Jerry Maguire – clearly Tom Cruise’s best movie – when he’s talking to Ray, the son of his business partner / love interest, played by Renee Zellweger.  He’s drunk yet holding a conversation with this boy, who’s telling him that he wants to go to the zoo.  Jerry doesn’t even think twice when he tells him “the f***ing zoo closed”, and we as an audience hold our breath until Ray responds with, “You said f***,” but then promises not to tell anyone.  Every scene between Jerry and Ray is great, but that one takes the cake.

Tropic Thunder

“But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.”

Warning: Pretty much every line Tom Cruise has in this movie is crude and vulgar and filled with curse words.  But that’s what makes this role so memorable and hilarious – because he’s never sounded like this before!  We’re so used to Tom Cruise playing the romantic lead or hero of the story, and to suddenly see him as studio executive Les Grossman saying – and doing – those things…it’s insane.  Just be prepared.

This is just a snippet of the many awesome things the Cruise has done in his 30-year career.  The only way to truly appreciate the man is to sit down and watch every single movie the man has made.  Except for Eyes Wide Shut.

Happy viewing!

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Author:

I have way too much information floating around in my head, which is why I write things down. I find that books, movies, music, and television are much more interesting than my local news.

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