It was a slow Friday afternoon at work when my co-worker introduced me to the joy of Jungian Personality Tests. You know, the silly tests you take to tell you crap that you already know about yourself but like to see if the computer thinks differently (it never does). So she sent me the link, and I placed my personality fate in Carl Jung’s psychoanalytical Swiss hands.
The questions were simple: Do you prefer a quiet night at home, or a night out with friends? Do you prefer a set routine, or spontaneity? When your phone rings do you wish to ignore it, or pick it up right away? Do you make friends quickly, or over time?
I knew before I took the test what kind of personality I have, so it came as no surprise to me when it was revealed that I am an ISTJ personality, aka The Examiner. ISTJ stands for the following:
I – Introverted
S – Sensing
T – Thinking
J – Judging
According to the website, ISTJs are “ responsible, loyal and hard working. They have an acute sense of right and wrong and work hard at preserving established norms and traditions. Because of their deep sense of duty they are dedicated to everything they do and are very dependable. ISTJs care deeply for those closest to them”.
Okay, yeah…I get that. I’ve always been one to follow rules and don’t like when people get away with breaking the rules. I’m way into routines, I think we should uphold silly traditions, and…for the most part…am pretty dedicated to whatever I do. Unless it’s emptying the dishwasher. Because I’m totally not dedicated to doing that.
I also learned that we’re obsessed with punctuality. Um, yes. I am. If you’re scheduled to work at 8:00am and you get there at 8:00, you’re late. I’m early for everything – work, dental appointments, library sales…you name it. I’m there before anyone else. The comfort in that, of course, is knowing that I’ll never miss a plane, I’ll never get written up for tardiness, and I’ll never get a speeding ticket because I’m running late. It all makes sense in my head, I swear.
ISTJ’s tend to take things seriously, and yes, to a point that’s true. That doesn’t mean that I’m gullible or can’t recognize sarcasm when I hear it. Trust me, peeps, I’m the Queen of Sarcasm. Seriously. Crown and all. And we ISTJ’s also know how to have fun, though it’s not in the party animal, let’s-dance-on-the-tables kind of way. That only happens after a few beers, and only if Joan Jett comes on the jukebox.
Otherwise we have an offbeat sense of humor, which probably explains why I find certain things hilarious while some people don’t. I don’t think Adam Sandler is funny. I find Two and a Half Men to be ridiculous. Not a fan of stand-up comedy, except for Mitch Hedberg. But for some reason I laugh during iCarly and think the movie Heathers is hilarious.
We’re also described as “super dependable”, so if you have a secret, I probably won’t tell anybody. Unless you tell me that your favorite movie is Drive Me Crazy. Because I can’t keep something like that a secret. The world must know so you can be ridiculed.
We do make good friends, though, and the close friends I have do mean a lot to me. I like hanging out with nice, funny people who aren’t idiots or asses. I enjoy good conversation and can talk for hours about things that interest me.
Which means don’t start talking to me about reality television. Because I will mock you. Silently in my head, of course. Because ISTJ’s don’t mock in public. We’re much more reserved like that.
There have been famous fictional characters who also share the same personality type. Darth Vader, for example, is also an introvert. Which explains why he didn’t like hanging out at the bar after work with the guys and preferred to go home and watch episodes of Pawn Stars. And Bruce Wayne? Also an ISTJ personality. Hence the Batsuit and weird voice in The Dark Knight.
I was also informed of possible career paths in which ISTJ’s tend to excel, and I was not surprised to see that Retail Manager was NOT on the list. Apparently that career choice is only for the criminally insane. Instead I’m told that I should consider being an accountant, detective, librarian, or steelworker. Or maybe even a math teacher!
Honestly I think I have a better shot at being a steelworker than a math teacher. Just look at my report cards from high school.
I understand that while there are a lot of people out there like me and Bruce Wayne, we only represent 8.5% of the population. Turns out not a whole lot of people want to be like Darth Vader and strive to be more like Indiana Jones. But how many of those Indiana Jones’s are just faking it? How many of them are forcing themselves to go to that bachelorette party for that co-worker, when all they really want to do is stay home and watch The Vampire Diaries? How many of those people ARE LYING TO THEMSELVES?????
Just remember: Some of us are Phineas, and some of us are Ferb. And once you’re okay with that, the rest is cake.
So if you haven’t figured it out yet and you’re curious about what kind of person you are, go and take the test. You may discover some new things about yourself – maybe you really are Indiana Jones! But if you’re Darth Vader, it’s okay. Because he was, after all, a total bad-ass. Until he screamed “Noooooooooooooooo!” at the end of Revenge of the Sith and we ISTJ’s all snickered to ourselves.