If you’ve been living under a rock on E.T.’s home planet for the past 30 years, you may be asking yourself three questions right now: 1) Who is Steven Spielberg? 2) Why are we celebrating his birthday? and 3) Who the hell is E.T.?
Well, let’s see. Where does one begin when talking about THE GREATEST DIRECTOR OF ALL TIME? That’s right, I said it. The Greatest. Who’s only made some of the best movies of all time. I got to see him at Comic Con last year and he got one of the longest standing ovations I’ve ever been a part of (outside of Joss Whedon and Harrison Ford). People love Steven Spielberg because he was such a huge part of their childhood. He also turned 66 years old yesterday, so it’s only appropriate that we celebrate Mr. Spielberg and some of the work he’s so gratefully bestowed upon us.
So here’s his Top Twelve (because he’s 66, and 6 + 6 = 12, duh…) Movie List in order of Awesomeness. And because I feel like everyone knows these movies so well already, I won’t bore you with synopses or reviews. I’ll simply sum up each movie in two words or less. Because I’ve got skillz.
12. Hook (1991)
11. E.T. (1982)
10. Jaws (1975)
9. Poltergeist (1982) – Writer Only
8. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
7. Schindler’s List (1993)
6. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
5. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
4. The Goonies (1985) – Writer Only
3. Empire of the Sun (1987)
2. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
1. Jurassic Park (1993)
So, I know what you’re thinking. “Why do you think Temple of Doom is the best Indiana Jones movie?” Because I love Short Round. It’s hilarious. It opens with a song. And because it’s the one I watched the most as a kid. Or, “Why is E.T. so far down on the list?” Because of reasons. Or, “Why isn’t A.I. on the list?” Because it’s even more depressing than E.T. And finally, you may even be thinking, “What is Empire of the Sun? I’ve never even heard of it.”
If you’re asking that question, I suggest you close this post now and go watch it. Seriously. It will change your life. Well, maybe not totally change it. But it will give you the feels. And a 13-year-old Christian Bale is extraordinary in this movie. That kid destroyed it. In a good way, of course. He out-performs every single other actor in that movie. SO WATCH IT.
Finally, you may even be surprised that Jurassic Park is my favorite Steven Spielberg movie of all time. No joke. I effing love this movie. Reasons: It has a Velociraptor. It has a theme park. It has a Brachiosaurus. It has Jeff Goldblum. It has a T-Rex. It has an electric fence. IT HAS DINOSAURS. And after almost twenty years, those dinosaurs are still the most realistic dinos I’ve seen on screen, thanks to the genius F/X master Stan Winston.
Spielberg is still a pretty busy guy. He’s had three movies come out in the past year – The Adventures of Tin-Tin, War Horse, and Lincoln – all which I have yet to see, but plan on doing soon (or as soon as they begin streaming on Netflix). And he’s showing no signs of slowing down. I plan on being part of the Spielberg Generation for a long time.